Claude Ponti - In Nantes Botanic Gardens

Processionary Benches
texte et dessin : © Claude Ponti

Processionary Benches

From the Uppahite plateaux
New Northern Berthomia’s Savannahs
Processionary Benches are trees, which are natural descendents of the Brossayliond family (whose habitat is in an enchanted Brittany forest).
With neither roots nor foliage, their form is a simple four-legged trunk, protected by different types of smooth or granulated bark, which photosynthesises with the energy it saves from resisting procrastination of any kind.
It is thought that not so long ago, Processionary Benches were carnivorous. Their gradual decrease in size creates an effect of perspective which tires and has an hynotic effect on passers-by. Such people, without realising what they were doing, would sit on one of the Benches, only to be gobbled up straight away.
Nowadays, Processionary Benches feed on something in the air and lovers’ emotions. They were discovered in 1953 during the expedition of Camilla Linkhalinkha, during the search for her Father, the explorer Athanus LinkhaLinkha, who disappeared on the Savannahs in New Northern Berthomia, the ancient Zawoo-tébé-tébé.
Camilla failed to find her father, who had been eaten by killer-mosquitoes, but instead found Processionary Benches, which promptly devoured her reckless husband and her audioguide with dead batteries.
Brought back to France in 1957 by air, the Benches loved the aeroplane so much that they tried to pass themselves off as cabin seats, but they were rumbled because they hadn’t fastened their seatbelts.
Sitting and lying down are permitted.
Photos allowed. Feeding forbidden.